Home

Home.. I don't understand this word anymore... I Googled it and it cam up with several definitions.. these are just two of them:

where you live at a particular time & place where something began and flourished

Personally I think a home is not just where you live, it is more to how you feel about the place and what happened there...

To me where I grew up and where my family was happy is what i call home. When things go wrong, it is where i long to be.

I know that if I lived there now i would not fit. I would probably hate it. But that is because the people are no longer there. They were the ones that kept me safe.

I think that my trust flourished there. I think that is why it is my home. As I moved on, other places, my trust was certainly broken lots, and the memories hurt.

So to be where this happened reminds me of the hurts, and it is not somewhere where I can be safe anymore... it is not my home.. People fight, and things go so wrong.. That is not my home.. Home is where your heart is... I need to find where my heart fits.. I find it fits with Children. I want to help them develop a good sense of trust.. I don't want them to grow up not knowing the same love i was blessed with, I want them to find a home in the heart of Jesus, and for them to give Jesus a home in their hearts...

anyways,... thats my thoughts tonight... O_o something to think about...

"i think its inside of u, not where u are.. its feeling like u belong, and knowing where u fit in to God's plan , and knowing that the ultimate home is with him

like if ur angry and frustrated or whatever u wont fit anywherre, and if u feel at peace u can call anywhere home, as long as theres love there, and God is love" - One of my smart friends....

The Truth

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32

Over the last week I have been assigned a task to do from someone from church. At first they warned me that when I do it make sure my door is shut, and that I can’t be heard. The task was:

1. Choose two verses from The Bible that shows how God values me. Verses that meant something to me.

2. Look in to the mirror and say them to myself. Say them like I believe them, not like I’m reading the most boring thing on earth. Saying it with emotion.

The verses I chose were:

Zephaniah 3:17:
“The LORD your God wins victory after victory and is always with you.
He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love."

Deuteronomy 33:3

“The LORD loves the tribes of Israel, and he protects his people.
They listen to his words and worship at his feet.”

With these verses I thought they sounded a bit weird saying them to myself. So I personalized them. (I would say the original verse then my personalized version.)

The Lord My God is victorious and is always with me. He rejoices because of me and will refresh my life with His abundant love!

God loves me and protects me. I (need to) listen to His words and worship at His feet.

Now I didn’t think this would be something that had any effect on me. I thought it was just plain stupid and dorky. I didn’t voice this opinion at the time, I just agreed to do it. So that’s what i did.

I would go to my mirror every morning when I woke up, and just before I went to bed at night. At first I was like: “this idea is just DUMB! What kind of moron thought this up anyways, why am I doing this!?” Since I had given my word that I would do it for the week, I continued. Even though I HATED looking in the mirror, cause i didn’t like the girl staring back at me. Also I certainly didn't want to tell her that she was valued by God, because i didn’t believe it.

To cut the story short. Some absolutely Awful stuff happened in my week, and I felt horrible, but since I had the two verses on my mind about God valuing my. I was able to pull them out and use them as a weapon of defense against the devil. “In all circumstances take up... the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” - Ephesians 6:16 - 17

When I felt all alone, I knew the God I followed was the God who is ALWAYS with me! When I felt defeated, I knew the God I followed was the God is victorious. When I felt like no on could love me, I knew that the God who I followed loved me and would refresh my life with His love!

The devil tries to trick us with all his lies. Telling us that we need to do certain things to look pretty, that we are stupid, incapable of doing the purpose God has made us for. He tells us what God planned for our lives is impossible, that we are not good enough. These are all lies.

I do not write to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it and because no lie comes from the truth. 1 John 2:21

The thing is deep down we know that we are living a lie when we let ourselves slip into the pattern of believing that we are ugly, not good enough etc. Because Jesus has taken our place, so that we can be good enough with HIS Strength.

So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. 2 Peter 1:12

Remember that God does love you. Apply God’s truths into your life and you will be amazed at the results when you fight with the weapons of victorious God.

Lessons from my Shampoo?

Well this is going to sound weird. But God is teaching me through my shampoo!

I get this red shampoo/body wash called Watermelon Whip. It is bright red.

The other day when I was showering (I can't believe i am blogging about this...) I was just kinda squirting the shampoo everywhere, it was redness all over my body.. and the walls of the shower.

The thing was when I touched the shampoo, it would turn to white, and get all bubbly.

The redness turned white. It clicked in my mind for some reason, When I am sinning, I am covered in this bright red shampoo, and Jesus sees it, and when I ask to be forgiven, He makes me clean! Washes my sins away!

"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Isaiah 1:18

Well again I don't quite know what I am writing here.....

*sits for about 15 minutes staring at at the screen thinking..*

OK, well I heard this song on Sunday at EPM... Someone sung it so awesomely, I was awestruck from the lyrics of the song, and have listened to it over and over again..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIfuYyBAlRU&feature=avmsc2

What am I?

I realized in the last few days, I am actually only a person. I should not be going on at God about how things are not going as "planned" because I am actually human, and He is God. I don't actually have the right to go around saying I don't like you anymore cause this is not going my way!! I should be thankful for what God has already done in my life, and is doing, ad is going ot do.. Even if I can not see it.

well, this is my ponderings for now...

Time slips away

Yesterday someone asked what it was like to be thirteen.

I began to think back.

I thought back to one of the hardest years of my life.

2008.

In this year I went the highest, and fell the lowest.

In this year I was baptized and felt fantastic.

I made my first friend, after three years.

I started going to a Bible study.

Also:

I was very depressed, and hated everything about myself.

I tried to kill myself on many occasions. Once almost succeeding.

Only by the amazing timing of God am i alive.

This got me thinking.

It feels like only yesterday I was turning thirteen.

But I have changed a whole lot!

I don't quite know what I am going on about.

(I should really think it through before I start typing)

I guess I am trying to say, make the most of your time.

You choose if you use it for good, or for bad.

If you choose to waste it, you can't get it back.

So as time goes by:

Use it to the FULL extend to what God has GIVEN it to you for.

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

Only Today

Whatever I may want to do
It must be done today.
There is no other time.

Yesterdays are but todays
Used and gone beyond my grasp.
Not one can ever be brought back;

Even as a bell can't be unrung
Or a spoken, unintended word
Be readily retrieved before
It reaches someone's ear.

Tomorrows are todays awaiting birth.
Each comes unbidden in the night
To arrive full-fledged for me to use
And do whatever I may want to do.

BUT I WANT THAT GOD!

I am so glad that I serve a God who doesn't always give me what I want.

Cause if He did, well... Life would SUCK!

Today I am putting it very bluntly.

God knows the plans He has for us. We don't know His full plan.

So when we ask for stuff to happen that is not what God completely wants , we stop asking for His perfect plan.

Would this really help?

Doing what we think is best, instead of what God wants?

Over the years I've asked for many things from God.

A lot of them, what I wanted for my life, not what was His plan.

I realize now, that if He had given me what I had asked for, I wouldn't have been able to continue on now.

I would have not been about to handle the stress.

Also I wouldn't have been able to do the stuff He had planned, which was even better!

God has better plans for my life, than I have. I need to learn to surrender to His Will. His Perfect Will.

Ask yourself "Am I asking for what God wants, or what I want?"

This is your life

Watch this - http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=24dd1977661aa0b64331

It is the best Video ever!!!!