Home

Home.. I don't understand this word anymore... I Googled it and it cam up with several definitions.. these are just two of them:

where you live at a particular time & place where something began and flourished

Personally I think a home is not just where you live, it is more to how you feel about the place and what happened there...

To me where I grew up and where my family was happy is what i call home. When things go wrong, it is where i long to be.

I know that if I lived there now i would not fit. I would probably hate it. But that is because the people are no longer there. They were the ones that kept me safe.

I think that my trust flourished there. I think that is why it is my home. As I moved on, other places, my trust was certainly broken lots, and the memories hurt.

So to be where this happened reminds me of the hurts, and it is not somewhere where I can be safe anymore... it is not my home.. People fight, and things go so wrong.. That is not my home.. Home is where your heart is... I need to find where my heart fits.. I find it fits with Children. I want to help them develop a good sense of trust.. I don't want them to grow up not knowing the same love i was blessed with, I want them to find a home in the heart of Jesus, and for them to give Jesus a home in their hearts...

anyways,... thats my thoughts tonight... O_o something to think about...

"i think its inside of u, not where u are.. its feeling like u belong, and knowing where u fit in to God's plan , and knowing that the ultimate home is with him

like if ur angry and frustrated or whatever u wont fit anywherre, and if u feel at peace u can call anywhere home, as long as theres love there, and God is love" - One of my smart friends....

The Truth

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32

Over the last week I have been assigned a task to do from someone from church. At first they warned me that when I do it make sure my door is shut, and that I can’t be heard. The task was:

1. Choose two verses from The Bible that shows how God values me. Verses that meant something to me.

2. Look in to the mirror and say them to myself. Say them like I believe them, not like I’m reading the most boring thing on earth. Saying it with emotion.

The verses I chose were:

Zephaniah 3:17:
“The LORD your God wins victory after victory and is always with you.
He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love."

Deuteronomy 33:3

“The LORD loves the tribes of Israel, and he protects his people.
They listen to his words and worship at his feet.”

With these verses I thought they sounded a bit weird saying them to myself. So I personalized them. (I would say the original verse then my personalized version.)

The Lord My God is victorious and is always with me. He rejoices because of me and will refresh my life with His abundant love!

God loves me and protects me. I (need to) listen to His words and worship at His feet.

Now I didn’t think this would be something that had any effect on me. I thought it was just plain stupid and dorky. I didn’t voice this opinion at the time, I just agreed to do it. So that’s what i did.

I would go to my mirror every morning when I woke up, and just before I went to bed at night. At first I was like: “this idea is just DUMB! What kind of moron thought this up anyways, why am I doing this!?” Since I had given my word that I would do it for the week, I continued. Even though I HATED looking in the mirror, cause i didn’t like the girl staring back at me. Also I certainly didn't want to tell her that she was valued by God, because i didn’t believe it.

To cut the story short. Some absolutely Awful stuff happened in my week, and I felt horrible, but since I had the two verses on my mind about God valuing my. I was able to pull them out and use them as a weapon of defense against the devil. “In all circumstances take up... the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” - Ephesians 6:16 - 17

When I felt all alone, I knew the God I followed was the God who is ALWAYS with me! When I felt defeated, I knew the God I followed was the God is victorious. When I felt like no on could love me, I knew that the God who I followed loved me and would refresh my life with His love!

The devil tries to trick us with all his lies. Telling us that we need to do certain things to look pretty, that we are stupid, incapable of doing the purpose God has made us for. He tells us what God planned for our lives is impossible, that we are not good enough. These are all lies.

I do not write to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it and because no lie comes from the truth. 1 John 2:21

The thing is deep down we know that we are living a lie when we let ourselves slip into the pattern of believing that we are ugly, not good enough etc. Because Jesus has taken our place, so that we can be good enough with HIS Strength.

So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. 2 Peter 1:12

Remember that God does love you. Apply God’s truths into your life and you will be amazed at the results when you fight with the weapons of victorious God.

Lessons from my Shampoo?

Well this is going to sound weird. But God is teaching me through my shampoo!

I get this red shampoo/body wash called Watermelon Whip. It is bright red.

The other day when I was showering (I can't believe i am blogging about this...) I was just kinda squirting the shampoo everywhere, it was redness all over my body.. and the walls of the shower.

The thing was when I touched the shampoo, it would turn to white, and get all bubbly.

The redness turned white. It clicked in my mind for some reason, When I am sinning, I am covered in this bright red shampoo, and Jesus sees it, and when I ask to be forgiven, He makes me clean! Washes my sins away!

"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Isaiah 1:18

Well again I don't quite know what I am writing here.....

*sits for about 15 minutes staring at at the screen thinking..*

OK, well I heard this song on Sunday at EPM... Someone sung it so awesomely, I was awestruck from the lyrics of the song, and have listened to it over and over again..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIfuYyBAlRU&feature=avmsc2

What am I?

I realized in the last few days, I am actually only a person. I should not be going on at God about how things are not going as "planned" because I am actually human, and He is God. I don't actually have the right to go around saying I don't like you anymore cause this is not going my way!! I should be thankful for what God has already done in my life, and is doing, ad is going ot do.. Even if I can not see it.

well, this is my ponderings for now...

Time slips away

Yesterday someone asked what it was like to be thirteen.

I began to think back.

I thought back to one of the hardest years of my life.

2008.

In this year I went the highest, and fell the lowest.

In this year I was baptized and felt fantastic.

I made my first friend, after three years.

I started going to a Bible study.

Also:

I was very depressed, and hated everything about myself.

I tried to kill myself on many occasions. Once almost succeeding.

Only by the amazing timing of God am i alive.

This got me thinking.

It feels like only yesterday I was turning thirteen.

But I have changed a whole lot!

I don't quite know what I am going on about.

(I should really think it through before I start typing)

I guess I am trying to say, make the most of your time.

You choose if you use it for good, or for bad.

If you choose to waste it, you can't get it back.

So as time goes by:

Use it to the FULL extend to what God has GIVEN it to you for.

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

Only Today

Whatever I may want to do
It must be done today.
There is no other time.

Yesterdays are but todays
Used and gone beyond my grasp.
Not one can ever be brought back;

Even as a bell can't be unrung
Or a spoken, unintended word
Be readily retrieved before
It reaches someone's ear.

Tomorrows are todays awaiting birth.
Each comes unbidden in the night
To arrive full-fledged for me to use
And do whatever I may want to do.

BUT I WANT THAT GOD!

I am so glad that I serve a God who doesn't always give me what I want.

Cause if He did, well... Life would SUCK!

Today I am putting it very bluntly.

God knows the plans He has for us. We don't know His full plan.

So when we ask for stuff to happen that is not what God completely wants , we stop asking for His perfect plan.

Would this really help?

Doing what we think is best, instead of what God wants?

Over the years I've asked for many things from God.

A lot of them, what I wanted for my life, not what was His plan.

I realize now, that if He had given me what I had asked for, I wouldn't have been able to continue on now.

I would have not been about to handle the stress.

Also I wouldn't have been able to do the stuff He had planned, which was even better!

God has better plans for my life, than I have. I need to learn to surrender to His Will. His Perfect Will.

Ask yourself "Am I asking for what God wants, or what I want?"

This is your life

Watch this - http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=24dd1977661aa0b64331

It is the best Video ever!!!!

This Little Light of Mine

Addison Road - This Little Light of Mine 2010

There's a little flame inside a soul
Some shine bright
Some shine small
The rains will come
And the waters rise
But don't you ever lose your light

In this life you will know
Love and pain
Joy and sorrow
So when it hurts
When times get hard
Don't forget who's child you are

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm Gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

May you live each day
With no regret
Make the most of every chance you get
And your eyes get wide
When you look at the stars
With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart

With the ones you love
Treasure the time
And for those who are gone
Keep the memories alive

Hold on to your dreams
Don't ever let go
There's a fire inside you
Burning with hope

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

There will be days when you wanna give up
When clouds settle in
But after the rain comes the sun
Don't you ever forget
Don't forget
Don't, don't forget

One day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see Jesus' face
So until then I'm gonna try
To brave the dark
And let my little light shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine
Oh, shine
Gonna let it shine
There's a little light inside us all

I think these lyrics say enough.. Let Your light shine for Christ... For it is Him who shines through you.

(by the way check out my other blog, from-the-clay.blogspot.com)

Following God's purpose = Peace

"You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you." - Isaiah 26:3

Everyone's life has a purpose. God created each of us with one uniquely planned out for just us.

He used no molds, He hand-crafted you.

He desires us to follow the purpose He made for our lives.

To prosper us, not to harm us. (Jeremiah 29:11)

There is a slight problem though..

Us humans seem to think that our plan is better...

When really we have no idea what we are doing!

Have you noticed that when we run everything and don't fully rely on God, things fall apart?

Maybe not straight away, but they seem to eventually.

That is because our plans are designed by a fallen race, who actually have no idea what they are doing (meaning humans..)

When you depend on God's purpose for your life, you will find peace.

It is not always easy, and it will bring hardship.. But Depending on God will bring you peace.

Purpose and peace go together....

I challenge you to step back and look at your life and see where you are trying to run the show....

and then surrender it to God, ask for His purpose in your life.. And then Follow it.

Why aren't are arms reaching?

Why am I here...

Again, I have no idea at the moment what I am going to write about today..

As I sit here, I wonder why there is

So much hatred,
So much pain,
So rejection,
So much hopelessness, in this world....

I don't understand...

If every Christian stood up for what they believed in, this world would be a different place.
Many sources say that 2.1 billion people are Christians today.. That is a third of the population!!

Imagine what the world would be like if we actually united as the body of Christ....

If we shone our Jesus' light for the world to see there is hope, there is freedom, there is acceptance, there is love...

Would this world be different? How many more people would know Christ for who He is?

"Here is a true message:

"If we died with Christ,

we will live with him.

If we don't give up,

we will rule with him.

If we deny

that we know him,

he will deny

that he knows us.

If we are not faithful,

he will still be faithful.

Christ cannot deny

who he is." - 2 Timothy 2:11-13 (CEV)

Are you letting Christ shine through you??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAWeHo8E70E

Casting crowns is an awesome song...

think about he lyrics...

I have no Idea what I'm on about, maybe you will

Today I learnt an important lesson:

Actions have consequences....

Last night I decided I wanted a fringe, instead of long hair at the front of my head... So I cut my hair!
Now I have an uneven fringe, that is hideous... I regret doing it, but that doesn't fix it.

I didn't have self control last night, and now I am having to face the consequences. It sucks, but honestly, its life.
Sometimes in this sheltered world we live in we think that we don't have to care, cause what we do doesn't matter. we don't have to pay the price. That is so wrong though,,, Cheating on a test might make you pass that grade, but when you need that information, what will save you then? In Africa, kids have to walk for miles because they need clean water to drink, for them and there siblings they support. If they don't do it, they will die. Plain and simple. I am blessed to live in New Zealand, but to be honest i think people here should be ashamed of themselves. Because some of us barely get off our butts and fight for what we believe in, if its out of our way.. In many countries it is illegal to be a Christian, think about it, if it was that hard, would you still be one? or will you cave in under the pressure? Here in New Zealand many people are Sunday Christians, because people at their school/ workplace, or whatever think its stupid or whatever.. but yeah, I actually have no idea what I'm going on about... So i'll end this here...
Just think, what do you believe in, and do you stand you stand up for it? and also, Do you act in such a way that brings God glory, or do you pretend not to know Him?

May God be with you, now and always..


Peace Owt X

The lost sheep

I wrote this for my preschool group, but I think it has relevance!



There once was a shepherd, he has 100 sheep!
One day when he was counting them, he discovered one was missing!
So he left the other 99 to search for this one sheep.
He looked, and he looked... Eventually he found the missing sheep.
He picked it up, and carried it back to the others.
The shepherd was so happy! He invited all his friends over, and had a party!!

Did you know we are like sheep?
God loves and cares for each of us....
In this world, we are lost.
When just one of us is found, God is so happy!
He throws a huge party in Heaven!

Luke 15..

Glow Sticks! Shining through the brokenness

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16 (NIV)

Now, everybody loves glow sticks right?

Ok, maybe people who had them snap into their eye and had to have their eye removed because it had a chemical burn from it, don't like them...

But other than them, i have never met a person who doesn't like glow sticks!

So you all agree that they are incredible aye? Ok, then it is settled.

If i gave you a whole bunch of glow sticks, but you weren't able to snap them, would you be happy?

I don't believe so..

To shine, glow sticks must be broken, and shaken.

Looking at glow sticks that aren't shining is a rather disappointing..

Did you know that is the same with us humans?

If we just wander through life, nothing ever happens to us. We don't get broken or shaken.

How could we shine?

The fact is we couldn't.

When we are broken and shaken, we have two choices.

1.Turn away from God and run the opposite way.

OR

2. Turn and run into His open arms.

You can choose to use your brokenness to surrender to God. Admitting you can't do this without Him.

Or run away and go through it alone...

Trust me, doing it alone is not how it is supposed to happen.

So that's what happens when you are broken and shaken.

What happens next is awesome!

We shine!

We shine, being a light to others still being broken. We shine, so "they may see... and praise your Father in Heaven."

Good bye - Hello

Don't say Goodbye - Skillet

Things are changing
It seems strange and
I need to figure this out
You've got your life
I got mine
But you're all I cared about
Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
Where has all the time gone now
I'm left alone somehow
Growing up and getting older
I don't want to believe it's over

Don't say goodbye
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I
And although we knew
This time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye

Do you remember
In December
How we swore we'd never change
Even though you're leaving
Thought our feelings
Would always stay the same
I wish we could be laughing
Instead I'm standing here asking
Do we have to end this now
Can we make it last somehow
We both know what we've gotta say, not today
Cause I don't wanna leave this way

And if it's over
It hurts but I'm giving you my word
I hope that you're always
Happy like we were
Happy like we were

Yesterday we were laughing (if you're gonna say goodbye)
Today I'm left here asking (if you're gonna say goodbye)
And although we knew this time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye

Nothing in this life lasts forever. Someday we will have to say goodbye to things.

Some things are easier to say goodbye... But somethings are so hard to let go of...

Letting go is something you will have to do in life.

One of the hardest things I've had to let go of was a friendship...

I met them about two and a half years ago..

She was the best friend I had ever had since moving to Auckland a few years before..

We had the best times together, doing all sorts of fun things together!!

As I was more open and honest about who I was and so was she, we grew closer together.

Eventually I felt comfortable telling her stuff I was going through, that I didn't want others to know. She was fine with me at first, but she wasn't fine with what I was doing.

So she started distancing herself from me.

It was so hard to face, when I needed a friend most, they would walk out on me.

I understand now why she would have left. I was dumping stuff on her some of the time, and she had her own problems. Also I was somewhat pushing my beliefs of vegetarianism on her. It was a slow process, but it got to the point when she would totally ignore me whenever I talked to her.

I still wanted her in my life, because I had nobody else.

Well, so I thought.. Through it all, I had forgotten the best friend I had..

God.

I started trying to spend more time with Him when I was lonely.

When I really needed a friend I called out to Him.

One Sunday I was at night church, my youth pastor, and another person prayed with me for a vegetarian friend for me...

Within a few weeks, a new girl turned up to the other church I go to in the morning..

(Long story why I go to two churches...).. Mum had been talking to her mum through some homeschooling thing.. and so my mum forced me to talk to her..

It was so awkward at first, but within a month we were like wow - Bestest Buddys!

She was an answer to that prayer. God is faithful.

If I had spent all my energy chasing after the old friendship, I would have never seen this new one.

I am still open to be friends with her, but I know it can never go back to how it was.

So what am I trying to say?

God is faithful. We are not doing this alone.

We need to let go when the time is right, and face the direction we are walking in.

"It is good for me to be near you. I choose you as my protector, and I will tell about your wonderful deeds." Psalm 73:28 (CEV)

Sometimes

Sometimes - Skillet

Sometimes when I lie

I know you're on to me

Sometimes I don't mind

How hateful that I can be

Sometimes I don't try

To make you happy

I don't know why I do the things I do to you but

Sometimes I don't wanna be better

Sometimes I can't be put back together

Sometimes I find it hard to believe

There's someone else who could be

Just as messed up as me

Sometimes don't deny

That everything is wrong

Sometimes rather die

Than to admit it's my fault

Sometimes when you cry

I just don't care at all

I don't know why I do the things I do to you but

I want someone to hurt

Like the way I hurt

It's sick but it makes me feel better

Sometimes I can't hide

The demons that I face

Sometimes don't deny

I'm sometimes sinner sometimes saint

God is there in the Sometimes

Identity

"Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect." - Romans 12:2

Who's voice you listen to, defines your identity.

The world might identify you as: Stupid, Fat, Ugly, Dumb, Emo, Unloved, Unaccepted, Dirty, Filthy.

The identity the world gives you is based on your actions, and looks.

Maybe you are used to this identity from the world...

But...

What you do or how you look, does not define your identity in God.

Jesus identifies you as: Loved, Accepted, Belonging, Beautiful, Being Sanctified.

Let God define your identity, Not the World.

For it was God who created you for a purpose, not the world!

So who's voice are you going to choose to listen to today?

God? or The world?

(Based on a sermon @ Epm on 11th April 2010)

Friendship

Well someone asked me to write about friendship. So here i am typing!

"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. "Proverbs 13:20

Friends are valuable in life, without them you can feel quite lonely. I know that from my own experiences.

The type of people you have as friends is so important.

As it says in Proverbs 13:20 (see above). Friends that are wise will make you wise, but hanging out with fools will hurt you.

In other words, you end up being like the ones you hang out with all the time.

So if you hang out with the crowd who smokes, most likely you will start smoking.

If you hang out with the crowd who goes to church, you will probably end up going to church.

If you have a friend who wags at school, you might start doing it too.

Get the drift?

As you spend more time with your friends you will act more like them.

Like for me, My voice sounds just about the same as one of my best friends! This so shows how long I spend talking to her.

I am thankful she is a wise, and kind, and she stands up for what she believes in.

She is the type of Person I want to be around, because I know she is not about to get me to do something that will get me in trouble.

On the other hand, I used to have friends who weren't as awesome as her.

At the time I thought they were the best thing in the world. But I look back and see, all they did was cause pain.

They effected a lot of my decisions back then, they were not good decisions, and I still have to deal with the consequences 4 - 5 years later.

The friends you have are so important! Choose friends that are good influences, not bad.

Also while I'm on the topic of friends, remember the phrase: To have a friend, you must be a friends.

That phrase is so true. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who doesn't be friendly back.

It is a two-way thing. A relationship goes both way.. Not Give, Give, Give. Or Take. Take, Take.

As well as trying to make sure you have the right kind of friends, it doesn't mean we shouldn't be friendly with people who are not exactly making the best choices, they do need friends who will care for them too. But make sure your main friendship circle has good influences in it.

I don't know quite how to end this so forgive me please, as I am no very good at blogs yet. Ending it here! Bai!

Peace out! X